Knowing Birth Series: Tara H (5)

knowing birth


Here is the link to the original Knowing Birth post.

There are so many books and studies claiming to know the truth about birth, but what I’ve found in my conversations with mothers and birth professionals are so many unique experiences surrounding each birth. A book or study can’t possibly take into account the actual voices of individuals. So what better way to find out than to simply ask.

That led me to what I call Knowing Birth interviews. I have come up with a handful of questions that, moms, dads and care providers will answer. I’ll then take their answers and put them directly on this blog.

The only requirement is honesty and openness, and maybe a few pictures too. If you would like to share your experience and answers to the following questions, please email me at and I will get the questionnaire to you directly. Anyone can participate and there’s no judgment from me about your answers. I promise to keep a close eye on the comments and keep ‘em clean.


Tara and her beautiful family. The photos Tara sent me are so amazing and a tribute to the  beauty of birth. All photos were taken by their doula Kyndal May.


Where did you choose to have your birth and why? What are your feelings about that choice now?

I chose to give birth to both of my children at The Baby Place (now New Beginnings) Birth Center. I honestly feel that it was one of the very best choices I have ever made in my entire life.

How did you prepare for your birth?

While pregnant with my first baby, I did A LOT of research comparing hospital birth versus out-of-hospital birth, and natural birth versus medicated birth. My husband and I also planned to meet the midwives and tour the center then do the same at a hospital with a doctor. However, once we met our midwives, asked several questions, and toured the birth center, we both had an overwhelming feeling that this was where we wanted our baby to be born. The midwives offered exactly what I wanted for my labor/birth experience; they were extremely knowledgeable and made me feel very comfortable asking any and all questions we had.  We also took Kyndal May’s Confident Childbirth class and hired her as our doula (for both births actually). I highly recommend every parent to take her class and hire a doula! I just can’t say enough at how the positive view (one that says childbirth is a natural process and not a problem that needs fixed), was the most encouraging way to birth my babies.

Who was invited and present at your birth?

For my son’s birth (my first) we had a bit of an audience. Other than my midwives, doula and husband, we had my mom, his mom and his sister. I was happy to have them present towards the end of my labor and while pushing. They were all very encouraging to me and it’s so fun to talk about the moments during that time.

For my daughter’s birth (my second), we had planned to have the same family present, however, she came very fast and was born about ten minutes after arriving to the birth center. It ended up just being my midwife, doula and husband and everyone else arrived just seconds after she was born.

Looking back, I know it was intended to be that way. It is so cool to have each kind of experience; one with family and one with just us and our birth team.

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If it was not your first birth, please compare/contrast your experiences.

Although both babies were born at the same birth center, even in the same room (not even by choice as my daughter was so fast that we stopped where we landed), my experiences were slightly different. My midwives were different; however, they were equally wonderful, compassionate, and trustworthy. My labors were also very different, and it was so fulfilling to have a doula and husband that knew how to comfort me during my hard moments of each labor.

What qualifications do you look for in a midwife/OB/primary care provider?

My biggest qualifications are knowledge and trust. I need someone who has knowledge about every aspect of pregnancy/labor/birth and is able to educate and encourage me along the way. I need somebody who trusts the process and who I can trust to handle the process. It is mine and my babies’ lives on the line! I feel blessed that I found these qualifications in all of my midwives.

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What is your ideal relationship with a birth attendant?

My ideal relationship with my midwives is one that is comfortable and caring. I was never treated as a “patient” and I always felt comfortable asking even the silly question I had along the way. They were professional while also making me feel like a friend and they never rushed my appointments. They really made me feel important like mine and my baby’s needs were at the top of their list.

If you have received maternity care from both the medical and midwifery models of care, what are the biggest differences? Pros/cons of each?


Did you feel adequately informed of your options?

I felt very informed about my options. I knew exactly what I wanted or didn’t want in a care provider as well as my birth. My midwives were always very up front with their statistics as well as their plan if transfer if I needed it. I felt completely safe in their care and knew they always had me and my baby’s best interest in mind. I wish all care providers, doctors to be exact, had to provide their statistics, as well.

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Describe your ideal birth environment at this point in time.

The birth center is my ideal birth environment. It is so peaceful and calm and provides all of the comfort measures I could desire.

How do you feel about the safety of birth in a hospital vs outside of a hospital?

I know for a fact that I received the safest and most personal care available for my family. I find it funny when people question out of hospital birth for safety reasons. I think many people have a very medical mindset when it comes to the natural/normal process. The interventions that occur at a hospital (some that uneducated women wouldn’t even think of as an intervention) change the whole process of labor and significantly increase the risk of needing more interventions and a lot of the time, cesarean sections.

When labor is able to take its natural path, no hospital or medical intervention is needed. I feel that a midwife is a better candidate to trust the process and let your body do what it knows to do instead of intervening and viewing it as a medical problem that need “fixed”.

However, I know my midwives are also highly trained to know when labor is becoming a medical emergency and will get you to a hospital if you need to be there. I think most people would be surprised at how often they don’t need medical help to do something their body was made to do. I feel that if more people completely educated themselves with unbiased information, more people would choose out of hospital birth. Women, who fully understand and trust the process, don’t fear birth.

Is there anything you would change about public policy relating to birth/maternity care? Why/how?

Yes. I think insurance companies should provide coverage for birth center and home births. We paid out of pocket for both of our births, and I would do it again in a heartbeat as they are worth EVERY penny (and then some), but I do think it’s ridiculous for insurance companies to not accept them as caregivers. Un-medicated, out of hospital births are much more cost effective and would save SO much money. With this being said, I don’t think women should only choose out of hospital births just because of money either, so we should also be encouraging and educating about midwifery and the natural process of birth.


What do you feel were the most influential factors surrounding your birth? Why?

I honestly had no clue what I wanted in a birth until I became pregnant. I had a friend who had her babies at the birth center as well as many of her family members. They all talked so highly of their experiences that I knew I needed to check it out. Between doing that and spending hours reading birth stories, researching, and taking childbirth classes, I knew the birth center was the best place to give birth. I also knew that even if I opted for a natural birth at a hospital, it wouldn’t be joyous and peaceful because I would refusing things and fighting for what I wanted and didn’t want instead of being praised and encouraged through the wonderful, amazing process.

Who owns birth?

Mothers and babies own birth. Moms deserve to have the experience they want to have while doing the most important, most rewarding thing they will ever do. They should be respected, encouraged and honored. They should be able to birth where and how they choose and be supported in doing so. Babies own birth because this is their big day and they come when they are ready to. They should be given the time to make their grand arrival without being forced to.

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Email me at and I’ll send you the questionnaire directly. There are no requirements, only that you have a voice about birth and want to share it openly and honestly.



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