All posts by Megan

May you be happy. My you be healthy. May you be free from suffering. (Me too!)

Knowing Birth: Meagan of Growing Up Herbal (7)

knowing birth

WHAT IS KNOWING BIRTH?

Here is the link to the original Knowing Birth post.

There are so many books and studies claiming to know the truth about birth, but what I’ve found in my conversations with mothers and birth professionals are so many unique experiences surrounding each birth. A book or study can’t possibly take into account the actual voices of individuals. So what better way to find out than to simply ask.

That led me to what I call Knowing Birth interviews. I have come up with a handful of questions that, moms, dads and care providers will answer. I’ll then take their answers and put them directly on this blog.

The only requirement is honesty and openness, and maybe a few pictures too. If you would like to share your experience and answers to the following questions, please email me at doulamegan@gmail.com and I will get the questionnaire to you directly. Anyone can participate and there’s no judgment from me about your answers. I promise to keep a close eye on the comments and keep ‘em clean.

THIS WEEKS INTERVIEW IS THANKS TO…

Meagan and Dean Visser at the blog Growing Up Herbal. Meagan is finishing up a month of writing the birth stories of her three beautiful sons: Judah, Isaiah and Uriah. I was excited to read her interview because her intuition lead her to home birth inititally, but nature lead her to the hospital instead.

On her blog, Meagan writes about parenting, natural health and how to prepare and use herbs in amazing ways. After reading her Knowing Birth interview, check out her blog at GrowingUpHerbal.com.

meagan uriah

 

Where did you choose to have your birth and why? What are your feelings about that choice now?

I chose to have my first birth at home assisted by a local midwife because I was in love with natural health and natural living, and I wanted to incorporate more of that into my life… one step at a time. Since I was pregnant, natural birthing was the next step I could take, but I knew that if I was going to have a natural birth, I was going to go all out and do it at home. The more I learned about it, the more of a fan I became of it, and the more of a fan I became of it, the more passionate I became. To me, this was an ideal way for healthy women with healthy pregnancies to birth.

Unfortunately my homebirth didn’t happen due to a very long labor with no progress so the hospital was a welcome site at that point. Not only did it help me do what I needed to do to bring my baby into this world as safely as possible, but I had a great, supportive team that allowed me to do it as naturally as possible too.

meagan bellySince that first birth experience, I’ve had two more hospital births that have been great. I chose to go with the hospital after that first try at a homebirth because I didn’t know if my other labors would be like the first… long and exhausting, and since my experience in the hospital was far better than I’d expected, I chose to do it there again… naturally of course.

I don’t regret my decision to birth in the hospital even though I’m a big fan of homebirthing. At the time, with that first labor, it was the right choice due to the circumstances, and yes… I’d still love to have a homebirth. Hopefully someday I will!

How did you prepare for your birth?

Since my first birth was to be a homebirth, I took birthing classes with my midwife that talked about different aspects of natural birthing and what to expect, and I read all sorts of books about natural birthing and homebirthing.

For me the biggest thing to prepare for was dealing with the pain of childbirth. I read a couple books about it, but I must say… I was still not prepared. I’m not sure you really ever are for a first birth. Everything is totally new. You can read all about it and watch other people go through it, but until it’s you… it’s just not the same, especially since every birth is different.

For my second and third births I already knew what to expect and what labor was like for me so in order to prepare I read the book Husband Coached Childbirth: The Bradley Method. This made all the difference in the world for me! It helped me to learn how to work with my body (not against it) in order to get through the pain and have a natural birth.

Who was invited and present at your birth?

My husband, my mom, and my midwife have been present at all three of my births… including medical staff since I’ve birthed at the hospital.

meagan laboring1

If it was not your first birth, please compare/contrast your experiences.

Wow! This would be a book. I’ve written my birth stories on my blog that go into detail about how each of my births went and how the differed from each other.

You can find them here:

Judah’s Birth Story – http://www.growingupherbal.com/birth-story-judah-the-kid-that-almost-never-came/

Isaiah’s Birth Story – http://www.growingupherbal.com/isaiah-aka-speedy-gonzales/

Uriah’s Birth Story – http://www.growingupherbal.com/birth-story-uriah-almost-as-good-as-it-gets/

The biggest difference between all of them was not where I birthed (since they were all at the hospital), but how I handled labor. Like I said before, my first labor was incredibly long, but once I read about The Bradley Method and learned how to work with my contractions, not against them… I was able to have my 2nd and 3rd babies much faster and much easier than the first!

What qualifications do you look for in a midwife/OB/primary care provider?

First off, experience. I wanted to know my midwife was experienced in homebirths, and I wanted to know the statistics of the births she attended… how many were first time moms, how many had complications, how many were emergencies, etc. Same thing with my doctors. I wanted to know how hands on they were and how often they intervened during pregnancy, labor, and delivery. I wanted to know what their c-section rates were or how many of their deliveries were low-risk vs. high-risk.

Secondly, a willingness to do what’s best for me. With my midwife, I didn’t want someone that was “do or die” to stay home. If I needed to go to the hospital, I wanted her to say that’s what she thought was best. Same thing with my doctors. I wanted to make sure I had doctors who were willing to let me do things my way as long as there were no reasons to intervene.

meagan pushing

What is your ideal relationship with a birth attendant?

My ideal relationship with a birth attendant would consist of a friendship. With a midwife, that’s easier than with an OB because a midwife doesn’t have as many patients as a doctor does and they can spend more time with you getting to know you. I also want to feel like I can be open and honest about my questions and how I feel. Having someone who’s more of a friend and there to help you through whatever you face, rather than an authority, is more ideal and helpful to me as well.

If you have received maternity care from both the medical and midwifery models of care, what are the biggest differences? Pros/cons of each?

The midwifery model is more personal and hands on. I think it looks at women and birth as a part of life, rather than an event that women need help getting through. It’s more holistic. With my experience, the focus has been primarily on staying healthy and practicing things that would make birth quicker and easier on me.

The medical model is at a much faster pace and for most people there is a lack of relationship between the patient and the doctor. I feel that a lot of the things done (exams, tests, etc.) aren’t always necessary, but for legal purposes, they have to cover all the bases. Same with delivery. For the most part you have to follow doctor and hospital protocols which limit you. With my experience, I chose a small practice that my midwife had worked with before and everyone had good relations and trust. I didn’t have much choice in my hospital so I stayed home as long as possible before going to the hospital and being under their protocols.

In all three of my birthing experiences, I’ve had both midwife and medical care with good experiences on both sides. I’ve made sure to be informed about what all goes on. I make a point to do the best I can to stay healthy so I don’t have to concern myself with most interventions. I’m not afraid to ask questions or to tell a doctor “no” about something, but at the same time I respect them and where they’re coming from. I view them as a part of my team. I want them to know where I’m coming from, and I want to know where they’re coming from so we can work together to make my pregnancy, labor, and delivery the best, most natural, safest thing it can be.

Did you feel adequately informed of your options?

There are many options a woman has when it comes to birth, but for the most part, with my midwife, I was informed of the many different options I had. That wasn’t always the case with my doctors. Several times with my OB I would be given one option initially… the most common option or the standard way things were done. Thankfully because I’d done my part and knew about natural birthing, I could say, “Well, what about this? Surely that isn’t my only choice” which would open up more options from them.

I think most times they do things the same way with everyone because most women don’t know there’s any other way. When you’re informed and you speak up, they are willing to be flexible… most times.

meagan judah-meets-isaiah

Describe your ideal birth environment at this point in time.

My ideal birth environment would definitely be at home, and if my husband and I have more children, we’ll most likely choose a homebirth again seeing as how my last two births were so different from my first troubled attempt at a homebirth.

I’ve loved being able to labor in water with my other births so I’d definitely like to have a water birth next time around!

How do you feel about the safety of birth in a hospital vs outside of a hospital?

This one can go both ways. For the most part… if a woman is healthy and is not having any problems, I personally feel that out-of-hospital births are the safest. Of course there are things that can go wrong since we don’t know exactly how a birth will play out, but if feel that there’s less chance for complications from out-of-hospital births just due to the fact that midwives and doulas are trained specifically for these situations. Most doctors are trained for hospital births and how to deal with complications if they arise, and statistics show that there is a much higher rate of intervention and complications from interventions in hospital settings than out-of-hospital settings.

Is there anything you would change about public policy relating to birth/maternity care? Why/how?

If it were up to me, all low-risk women would be able to choose to birth at home or in a birth center setting, and insurance companies would cover these costs just like they cover hospital costs. This would leave high-risk women to birth in a hospital setting where they have access to the things they would need for their birth.

What do you feel were the most influential factors surrounding your birth? Why?

I was very influenced by stories I read and people I met that had had homebirths in the past. They were very encouraging, and it made me feel like it was something I could do. I wasn’t alone in my choice.

Another factor that later influenced my third child’s hospital birth instead of a homebirth was money. It can be expensive to have a baby at home and pay a midwife instead of having your insurance company cover the costs of a hospital birth. For my first child, this wasn’t so much of a concern since I was dead-set on staying out of a hospital, but when it came to my third birth, I’d already had two great hospital experiences. So the hospital was less of a factor and money was more of one.

Who owns birth?

Wow, this is a tough one. I’m not sure that anyone OWNS birth, but if any one person owns it more than another, it’s the parents seeing as how it’s their lives that are effected most and their baby being born.

No one can predict how a birth is going to go, and we certainly don’t have full control over the process. I do feel though, that parents and birth teams can work together to make it as safe and great as we envision it to be therefore everyone plays a part and has some responsibility in the birth.

meagan meeting-uriah

 

WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT MEAGAN?

Check out her blog Growing Up Herbal to learn about parenting, natural health and the abundant uses for herbs. Thanks Meagan for your honesty and participation!

HOW TO JOIN THE KNOWING BIRTH SERIES

Email me at doulamegan@gmail.com and I’ll send you the questionnaire directly. There are no requirements, only that you have a voice about birth and want to share it openly and honestly.

THANKS FOR FOLLOWING AND BE WELL!

My Life As A Raspberry

P1020822While posting yesterday’s Weigh In Wednesday on Facebook I used this image, for no explicable reason. It’s a terrible picture.

The plump, juicy, ripe raspberry in the forefront is all out of focus. The unripe, green and burgeoning berry in the back is central and totally in focus.

After reading yesterday’s post I know how loco I came off. I also realized the need for a more positive outlook. This is what I came up with .

me as raspberry

 

And then this:

I love my body. I love my body. I love my body. I love my body. I love my body. I love my body.
I love my body. I love my body. I love my body. I love my body. I love my body. I love my body.
I love my body. I love my body. I love my body. I love my body. I love my body. I love my body.
I love my body. I love my body. I love my body. I love my body. I love my body. I love my body.
I love my body. I love my body. I love my body. I love my body. I love my body. I love my body.

If I’m going to be loco, at least I can be positive about it.

 

Weigh In Wednesday #20

weigh in wednesdayAs you can tell by the timing of this post, I’ve been putting it off. It’s past 11pm and if I ever have any desire to nourish my metabolism I ought to find a way to get into bed at a more reasonable hour. Now I’m just praying that Porter miraculously sleeps until 8am. But whatever, I have to post this for my own well being. I’ve actually found these weekly check ins quite helpful in figuring out my relationship with food and body. So here’s where I’m at so far.

Being that I’m almost half way through the year and nowhere near halfway to my goal (50 pounds lost) it’s time to do some evaluation. Here’s what I know:

  • I’ve done the paleo/low carb/ no gluten diet twice now. I’ve lost substantial weight when I was doing it, but found it entirely unsustainable for more than 3 months.
  • I like to snack
  • I go through cycles of wanting to cook and prepare foods and other times of total laziness, where I’m happy to feed my kid muffins, kefir and buttery toast. I’m happy to eat those too.
  • It’s not in my personality to stay rigid in anything for very long
  • I’m cyclical
  • Eating no refined sugars and less breads makes me feel really good and my body regulates it’s hormones, monthly functions and keeps libido up.

Here’s what I’m focusing on for the near future:

  • Exercising/moving daily
  • Continue to stay away from sugar and processed foods
  • Reincorporate a minimal amount of breads/baked goods if they are prepared by me in a traditional way
  • Sleep more – 8 hours a night, regularly

Here’s the part I wasn’t expecting, but subconsciously knew would come up. It’s so easy to demonize food. Even the healthy food I try to eat. This blog post pretty much sums it up, right down to harming the sea birds with plastic bags. Read it, it’s laugh out loud funny.

Following is what my brain looks like. Read at your own risk and try to keep up.

I know if I have healthy snacks around the house then I’ll be less likely to go on a bender. This leads to an assessment of time management and planning.

Sometimes being a stay at home mom is so much harder than a regular job, because at least I was accountable to someone else to maintain a schedule. And no, I won’t be accountable to my 2 year old boss.

Nap time is quite lovely for getting things done, but it’s also nice for napping.

I’ve found that it all comes down to expectations. What are my expectations for myself, are they high enough? Too high? Are they realistic? And then there’s the whole failure bit (as in I’m not meeting my current expectations for weight loss).

Am I crazy? Why can’t I just let this be simple?

I need to do affirmations.

See, this is a perfect example of what I’ve been tossing around for the last 2 weeks. My mind is in overdrive.

This morning I was hell bent and determined to go hardcore paleo right through breakfast and up until 11am when Porter got a slice of banana bread. Who knew banana bread could be such a siren, and that I’d heed her call? Well, I did. That’s when I had my minor moment of reckoning. Going hardcore isn’t my style and obviously isn’t something I can keep up with. So moderation it is. I shared that piece with Porter, enjoyed it and then avoided the ice cream section of the store with sheer will power. Ice cream will have it’s time again, but not tonight!

Anywho, I’m working on less restrictions, more moderation and not beating myself up for doing something that in and of itself won’t ruin my whole world. I still want to lose a hundred pounds, but maybe it won’t happen in a year. I have to get a whole bunch of weight off before having a second baby, so if I keep chugging along, then I should be in better shape by the end of the year.

My goal is to be less than 200 lbs by 2014. That is, unless inspiration strikes and I decide to get hardcore again. Which could actually happen – but I’ll have to cycle back into it. Whatever happens, you’re sure to find out because I’m quite prepared to continue Weigh In Wednesdays. At least that doesn’t require an entire mental breakdown of habits, desires and relationships, like food does.

#20 5/29/13 Last Week This Week Difference Overall Loss
Weight (lbs) 239 244 5 18 lbs
Left Leg (in) 30 30.5 0.5 -2
Hip (in) 49.5 50 0.5 -4
Waist (in) 41 42.5 1.5 -8.5
Chest (in) 44 45 1 -2.5
Left Arm (in) 15.5 15.5 0 -1.5
Neck (in) 15 15 0 -1
Total inches Lost 19.5″

Real Food Maple Lemonade

flowers1

Why do I want to move to the central coast of California? Not only do we have family here, but within an hour of arriving at my parents house in Santa Cruz, Porter and I ate our fill of raspberries off the bush, shared in the neighbor’s freshly growing snap peas and picked 2 dozen lemons from my dad’s tree.

raspberriesEverything grows abundantly here, which in turn begs a person to pick the bounty to make room for more. We were happy to oblige. Since I’m still trying to convince my husband that we need to move here ASAP I took the opportunity to make his favorite beverage as yet another good reason to head further west, lemonade with a maple twist. The recipe is at the bottom. What you get to enjoy next are a few of the flowers that are lucky enough to call my dad’s garden home.

flowers2 flowers7 flowers6 flowers5 flowers4 flowers3 lemonade3

lemonade

Ingredients

2 cups lemon juice (approx 24 lemons)
7 cups water
1 cup organic unrefined cane sugar
1/2 cup maple syrup, or honey

Make It

1. Juice the lemons into a large bowl or pitcher

2. In a pot bring 2 cups water to a boil and add sugar/maple syrup/honey. Stir until dissolved.

3. Add remaining 5 cups water and sugar water to lemon juice.

4. Mix thoroughly and chill.

Enjoy! 

lemonade1

 

lemonade2

 

This post featured on the following blog carnivals: Party Wave Wednesday, Thank Your Body Thursday, Tasty Traditions, Fight Back Friday

Travel With Kids: Packing

travel with kids packing

Tomorrow my son and I leave on a jet plane to Boston, which means I’m in the midst of packing RIGHT NOW. So what better way to procrastinate than to write a post on the very subject? If you’re going to be flying with your young baby or child might I suggest my post about Flying With Kids, for your prep and enjoyment.

The Bag

duffleFirst things first, what are you going to put all this stuff into? I have a bag that I love. LOVE! It fits an insane amount of everything inside it for me and my son. It rolls, has backpack straps, has multiple pockets for stuffing odds and ends in, and is considered a duffle bag.

The difference is that it opens like a piece of regular luggage. Half is like traditional luggage and the other half is like a duffle. It’s this one from L.L.Bean. We got it online, on sale (because it was red) and with a gift certificate. I think we paid $90 for it. A steal! You don’t need to have a fancy bag, but if you’re in the market, I highly recommend this one.

Right now ours is packed with our portable booster seat, a training potty, our toiletries, a package of diapers, package of wipes, all our clothes, 5 picture books, baby monitor, Nook (sound machine for sleeping), my son’s sleep bag, our shoes, Bananagrams, and a 6″ bouncy ball. We’re going to Boston for a week in the springtime this trip, but this bag has also been on a 3 week stint around Spain, 3 weeks in Maui, multiple trips to and around California, a week during the spring in Maine, camping, and will be accompanying us to Alaska later this year. Big trips, small trips, one bag and a decent carry-on/backpack is all you need.

When putting everything in your bag, step away from the traditional method of folding and stacking. Use whatever Tetris skills you have to get your items to fit. Roll, fold, lay totally flat, turn things inside out and backwards. Stuff your socks and underwear in the small spaces between other items. Lay flat items under or between clothing and nestle breakables in the middle of everything. Make use of every pocket (interior and exterior) nook and cranny. If your bag has interior straps – use ’em. Cinch those bad boys down with all your might. All packed, our bag weighs about 45 lbs. That leaves 5 pounds to spare for the TSA’s 50 lbs weight limit. Boo-ya!

Consider This

luggageObviously the age of your child will determine a whole lot of what you decide to bring along, but there are a few things I think are universal when packing for (or maybe with?) children.

  • Make lists. Include everything you plan on bringing: clothes, medicines, toys, sound machines, baby monitors, tooth floss, etc. Check them over & over. Cross off items that are packed and at the end of the day, make a final list of small items like chargers, deodorant and computers. Anything that you don’t want left behind by accident.
  • Bring at least one outfit per day and 2 extras. It can seem like a lot, but unless you have access to a washing machine, it can save you time washing extras in the sink. I HIGHLY recommend staying in places where you can wash clothing (other peoples homes, laundromats  hotel laundering services, etc). It may take a couple hours of your vacation, but it will make everything that much nicer, I promise. I mean really, who doesn’t like clean underwear??
  • Limit toys to 2-3 small items that don’t make noise or have small removable pieces. We went on a trip for 3 weeks and I brought everything but the kitchen sink and regretted every moment of it. Not only did most of them NOT get played with, but we ended up having to ship most of them home in a boxes.
  • Books are good, but make sure they are ones your kids actually like. You can also take library books, but I wouldn’t mention that to the librarian.
  • If your kid is going to watch movies or use a digital device, get them their own headsets. Earbuds suck in general and a toddler won’t tolerate such ear abuse. We like these.
  • I’m a firm believer in kids carrying their own carry-ons, or at least dragging them behind them. Trunki’s are good for younger kids because they can drag them or ride on them.
  • A thin or inflatable pillow is nice for small people who may, or may not, nap on the plane/car/bus/train. Or maybe you just need to cushion their elbow from continually jabbing you in the thigh or stomach while they use you as their personal Barca Lounger?
  • Consider the length of your journey and pack appropriate snacks/food for travel times. It’ll always be healthier and cheaper this way. And bring your own empty water bottle to airports and fill them up at the drinking fountains past security.
  • If you’re bringing medicine: according to the TSA medicine is allowed in “reasonable quantities” in your carry on. For instance, my son is anaphylactic-ly allergic to cashews so we always carry an Epi-pen with us. On airplanes I carry Benedryl as well, which is 4oz. I always present it with any other liquids and it’s never been questioned. They might be put through some extra screening, but carry any important medications on you. If you’re concerned, bring a doctors note too. I also bring pain reliever in my carry on and check the rest.
  • Car seats shouldn’t cost a dime to check at the airport and will save you $$$ at your destination if you don’t want to rent one. It is standard for the larger car rental companies to rent child seats at a daily rate. You can call taxi’s or hire drivers that also have car seats available in most countries.
  • Umbrella strollers for those trips where there might be more walking than your wee one can handle. These can also be used at the airport and checked at the gate. You will have to run it through the security scanners first.
  • Bathing suit or cold weather gear, depending on destination.
  • Sunblock of choice.
  • Hat if appropriate.
  • Your portable booster seat, if you use one.
  • Any children’s soap, toothpaste, toothbrush or toiletries your kid might use.
  • IMPORTANT: if you’re flying make sure to bring your child’s passport or copy of their birth certificate no matter how old they are, 0-18.

The Fashionable Baby 1 month – 2 Years

I’m going to assume you have a good idea of what the climate is like wherever you’re travelling. Obviously pack accordingly for anytime you’ll spend outside and what makes you and your child comfortable. Here’s what I suggest, in general, when packing for children under two:

luggage1

  • For travel dress baby in layers. Planes are either way too hot or way too cold. Be ready for both. Bring a change of clothes for baby and parent. Bring more than enough diapers and wipes and always bring a burp cloth or two.
  • Any sleep aids you use: baby bags or swaddling blankets, baby monitor, sound machine, any cuddly friend your baby sleeps with at home.
  • Breast pump, baggies, formula and bottles if necessary.
  • Diapers and wipes. Remember, there are probably store where you can purchase disposables once you reach your destination too.
  • Bibs. One per day and 1-2 extras.
  • Bathing suit or cold weather gear, depending on destination.
  • Sunblock of choice.
  • Hats if appropriate.
  • Umbrella stroller and/or baby carrier of choice.
  • Car seat, if not renting one at your location.
  • Passport or copy of birth certificate.
  • Any baby soap, toothpaste, toothbrush or toiletries your baby might use.
  • Baby carrier of choice. If you’re flying, you won’t be able to wear your baby in the carrier during take off and landing if your child is sitting in your lap. Don’t ask, it’s not allowed.
  • Water for nursing moms, formula for babies and any snacks or sippy cups for babies eating solid foods.

Movin’ and Groovin’ 2+ years

There will come a point when your child has a say in what they bring with them on trips, so I’m going with what I know here and will let you work it out with your child if you think they are ready to start making lists of their own.

If you have a delicate flower of a child who doesn’t get dirty and likes to wear pretty clothes, than pack those. If you have a rough and tumble little person who you know is going to make a wreck of whatever they wear, than pack enough to get you through your trip comfortably. Better yet, stay somewhere that you’ll have access to a laudramat and spend a couple hours doing laundry. It sounds like a chore, but it can significantly cut down the amount of stuff you’ll want to bring.

  • Any sleeping aids from the 0-2 list above that will help your toddler sleep as comfortably as possible.
  • If there isn’t a bed and your child is too big for a rental crib (like my huge child) I’ve packed an inflatable camping mattress and pump for some of our longer trips. It’s worth it if it means your child will sleep more, and if they are prone to rolling off the bed (just sayin’ it’s a reality in my house) it’s nice to have them closer to the ground.
  • Are you potty training (or something like it)? We have this portable potty at home and we bring it with us.
  • We tend to eat in a lot when we travel so we bring our portable booster seat. Obviously this and the potty are optional. If we didn’t bring these two items we could easily pack my husbands clothes in the same bag too.
  • Depending on where you’re travelling, bring the minimum amount of shoes and only ones you know your kid will wear.

The most important thing to bring with you on any vacation, which wil save you time and (most importantly) patience is…grandparents. If you can fit them into your luggage or even into the seat next to you, this will be the very best investment in travelling gear ever. EVER.

porter spain
Now go show your kids the world. They’re gonna love it!

This post featured on the following blog carnivals: Party Wave Wednesday, Thank Your Body Thursday, Tasty Traditions, Small Footprint Friday

Weigh In Wednesday

weigh in wednesdayHi all! So I’m taking a couple weeks off from Weigh In Wednesday’s for re-evaluation, and because I’m going to Boston next week.

I recognize that ever since I got back from my trip to Maui in April I’ve been in a rut. I’ve over extended myself (something I’m too good at) and let a few fundamentals slip, like sleep and exercise. These, as you know, are the cornerstones of any healthy lifestyle and I’m working on getting them back in check.

Think happy thoughts for me as I reconfigure, yet again, my routines and get my mind back into a place of positivity and balance. I’ll see you in two weeks. Be well!

Megan

Mother’s Day 2013

mom and porter heartAren’t my mom and son adorable? I share with them such intimate relationships that I can’t even put them into words. My heart sings to know that they are kindred spirits themselves.

Who is it that can read the same kids book, or many books, an infinate number of times and never get bored? Who will gaze out the window with my son for hours, identifying every animal, plant or machine that passes by? Who will play make believe, with or without toys, to Porter’s hearts content? Not me, that’s for sure. The person who makes my son’s eyes twinkle brighter and his body practically burst with enthusiasm is my mom, his Tu Tu.

For a couple years now my mom has said, now you know how I feel about you. And I always nod my head in agreement. It’s only recently, however, that I’m begininning to understand what she’s said. The contagious happiness from my child, the worry about, oh, every decision, the wonder at how such a small person can be so capable of learning and loving in such an effortless way. This is how I feel about being a mother to my son, and I am now beginning to imagine this is how my mom feels about me, as a child and maybe even a grown up.

My mom is a great mom. She volunteered at my brothers and my schools, made our lunches daily, was always home when we parked our bikes in the garage, drove us to hundreds of after school activities, counseled us wisely, hugged us generously and never fails to let us know we are loved. She gabs with me for hours and inspires creativity, regularly. As a grandmother she astounds me with her patience and caring for her grandchild.

It is only since becoming a mother myself that I have truly made an effort to listen when my mother speaks. Try to acknowledge when she is right, to marvel at her awesome talents and to finally understand choices she made when I was a child. By being so close to my mother today and in growing up, I rest assured that what I experience as a mom is authentic and real.

Thank you Mom, for being real with me, for loving me unconditionally and for so clearly cherishing my own child. We are so very lucky to be in your family and to get to call you Mom and Tu Tu. I love you!

 

This post featured on the following blog carnivals: Thank Goodness It’s Monday, Sunday School, Family Table Tuesday, Fat Tuesday