GET BACK ON YOUR HORSE!

“Long ago, warriors trained daily to hone their mental focus, physical strength, and skills in preparation for meeting any situation in battle. Battles, like birth, are not choreographed. Never knowing exactly what to expect, a warrior has to be spontaneous and creative on the spot.

Picture a woman riding into battle on her decorated warhorse. Imagine her engaged in a fierce battle, when suddenly she loses her balance or is knocked off her horse. She hits the ground hard, but the battle continues.

What can she do?

She could feel defeated or ashamed for falling off her horse; she could give up or ask people what she should do. While waiting or trying to decide, she might get trampled. Or, instead, knowing that falling off the horse is part of the battle, and not shameful or weak, she can get back on her horse, continuing to do her best, moment-by-moment, without attachment to outcome.”

~Excerpt from Pam England and Virginia Bobro’s new book-in-progress

Every Wednesday when I step on the scale I have to weigh myself anywhere from 5-8 times. I do this because often my scale will give me wildly varying numbers within a four pound range. It’s like spinning that giant wheel at the end of the Price Is Right.

In an effort to be scientifically accurate (haha) I wait until I get the same number three times. Eventually my scale settles on a number and that’s what I go with. Today, however, my scale was absolutely certain about my weight and didn’t differ it’s opinion one little bit. No reason to share this, just a silly bit of info.

Before I get into the numbers, let me share with you how the latter half of last week went. As you remember I had backslid 4 pounds. Well, it didn’t stop there. By Friday I had consumed more ice cream, sourdough toast, baked goods, a milk shake, cinnamon bears (definitely not real food) and cookies. I didn’t give a damn. I stepped on the scale Saturday morning and it registered a whopping 248. Double take, what?! Yeah, that’s 10 pounds in 10 days. 10 DAYS!

Obviously my body didn’t convert all that into fat, but I was well on my way to destroying months of hard work, as you well know. You’ll be happy to know that I turned it around, and practically on a dime. Sigh of relief! So what changed?

I knew I had to get back on track ASAP. I went to the farmer’s market and avoided the (bountiful) doughnuts and took solace in the fact that I’m trying to get my grocery bill down. I focused on sticking to my list and finding good deals. I was tempted through the day, but knew if I could make it to dinner with my friends there was the possibility of s’mores.

Yeah, you read that right. More sweets as a reward for being good. I said it. Clearly, my issues with food go deep, and old habits (mindsets) die hard. Or maybe they don’t die at all and I’ll be up against these issues for the rest of my days? I hope not.

Any-who, we made it to Chelsea’s for dinner and all my besties were there. They also brought their kids and it was a downright shindig. I loved it. I think I missed my people and desperately needed to get back in touch with them. Let me explain.

Not only does this group of friends go way WAY back in time, but we eat together a lot. This has included bouts of ice cream and baked goods and the occasional binge too. These bad habits, however, were a long time ago. In the last few years we’ve supported each other’s goals to eat right and live healthy. We share a love of Real Food, cooking, and can always count on the foods that we bring to be edible to just about everyone. In other words, I can eat guilt free with these people.

Not only do we create and share meals together, but I’m not the only one finding my way to health through reduced carbs and elimination of refined and processed foods. I am regularly inspired by my friends who are also losing weight and finding joy in their own bodies. This last Saturday, eating with these folks, felt like I was being brought back into the fold. It was just what I needed to get back on track.

This all sounds a little dramatic, and maybe it is, but I am so grateful to my friends. Never once have they judged me and they have always been supportive. They were the only people who’s jaws didn’t drop when I told them of my goal to lose 100 pounds and how I planned on doing it. They totally got it from the start. And the best part is that their support comes from just being themselves. That’s why we’re so close and that’s how they keep me real.

The result…I’m back! Getting into my groove was 100% easier than starting from scratch, because I have the tools and ingredients to make all the right choices. Phew, that was a close one!

For the record, I did not have s’mores. Porter’s bedtime rolled around and while I seriously considered pushing that limit for the sake of a treat, I (struggled) used it as an opportunity to leave the party. It was really hard. I really wanted to stay and enjoy some more sugar and good company. Sometimes removing myself from a situation is the best possible way to deal.

I’m confident that today (only 4 days later) if I was confronted with s’mores I could happily decline them. How do I know? Because I’ve been fantasizing about a milkshake all morning. I even passed the (drive thru) shop that makes them and I chose not to stop. Part of my decision to pass was because I get to report to you about my small victories. Thank goodness for those and thank goodness for all of you too!