It’s a strange feeling when someone as confident as I am in my body’s ability becomes angry and frustrated at that same body. One which has allowed me to dance, run, jump, swim, sing, birth, see, hear, taste, love and learn. The body that got me to this finish line after completing an Olympic distance triathlon: mile swim, 25 mile bike and 6 mile run and then to leap over the finish line.
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I knew I had some body issues (I did grow up in the US after all), but I can’t tell if I’ve always had them or if doing this challenge has created them. Either way, I’ve found myself getting mad at my body for not contorting itself at the pace I want it to. I WANT IT NOW! Alas, I’m a product of my times and have become impatient and cranky with mother nature (aka my changing body.)
Recognizing this about myself, and this awkward feeling of mistrust in my body, I have decided that I need to take some time to regain confidence in my body. I’ve been following GoKaleo on Facebook (she’s ever so slightly militant about not dieting and self love), searching through blogs of moms who are proud of their stretch marks, and making a concerted effort to move my body in ways that make me happy and to eat real food. Any real food I want. It’s strange that I’ve gotten to the point of demonizing a slice of homemade sprouted wheat bread with almond butter.
In an effort to cut my self and my body some slack I’ve re-instituted positive affirmations and decided to stop weighing/measuring myself until I get this ish in order. Weigh In Wednesday will continue, but with a more positive message about self love and acceptance.
Something tells me this challenge will last longer than the designated year. My parents always say that a plan is something to have for when life isn’t happening. Welcome back life! It’s nice to see you again, I missed you.
My affirmations for now:
- I love my body.
- I love my self.
- I love my life.
- I am unbelievably, utterly and immeasurably beautiful.
- I am exactly perfect just as I am.
My favorite quote from the week:
“ok. 30 days of no sugar, no alcohol, no dairy, no grains, no coffee. and yet the muffin top? it persistith. time to get down with some of this ‘accepting yourself as you are’ BS i keep reading about.”
~Jade from A Beautiful Body Project <–You NEED to check this out!