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Videos Galore

Here are videos from the last month. It’s hard to believe that next week my sweet baby will be a year old, how time flies! I’m more and more thankful for photos and videos so we can always remember these sweet times.

Thanks to my parent’s neighbors Mara and Joe for letting us use this neat car for our walk in Capitola.
Drum circle with Porter, Luke and Steve.
A visit with our friend Hattie.
New Year’s Day
If you listen carefully you can hear him say “raspberry” right at the end.
Thanks to Grandpa Craig and Gramma Mikie for the awesome wagon, Porter loves, LOVES, walking down the sidewalk.
And some more.
I think letting him stand may end up biting me in the a$$. I mean really, just look at his face.
On nights that Luke gives him a bath they do this pull up routine. Porter pushes off Luke’s chest and does the pull ups himself while Luke supports him. With all the calisthenics he’s being doing lately, it’s no wonder he’s eating me out of house and home!

A Porter Holiday

2011 was Porter’s first holiday season. He was supposed to have been born right around the holidays last year, but as we all know he came a few weeks late. I think it was better this way, the pictures of baby’s first Christmas are so much cuter with his smiles.

We spent actual Christmas with Luke’s family and had a lovely visit with Porter’s Grandma Teri, Papa Bob, and his Aunties Katie and Anna. There were also plenty of doggies to keep us company and the stomach flu, which tore through the household during our entire visit. It was Porter’s gift to us all, so tender. We didn’t let that get us down, and had wonderful food, great weather and lots of love.

Out for an early morning walk with Aunt Katie.

I thought it was crazy for Luke to go on the 3 mile walk the morning
after having the stomach flu, and yes it was…crazy. Porter was a big
help too, only wanting to be carried. That boy loves his dada!

It wouldn’t be a complete visit with Granny Alton if Porter didn’t
learn how to play the Champagne Game!

On the day after Christmas Porter, Luke, Aunt Katie and I drove down to Capitola for 2nd Christmas with my family. The drive took 5 hours (usually a 3.5 hour drive), but it was well worth it to get to spend a few glorious days in Capitola with Gramma Mikie, Grandpa Craig and Uncles Steve and Kumar. I got a new camera for 2nd Christmas, which is why most of the pictures are from the second half of the trip. Here we go!

At the Boise Airport playing in the kids play area with a new friend.

Porter is 11 months and his friend, also a boy, is 10 months.

Bougainvillea growing up the side of my parents house  on a foggy morning.

My parents have a large collection of percussive instruments that Porter LOVES to play with.

Porter’s latest facial expression. 

Gettin’ down with his bad self.

A duet with Uncle Steve.

My parent’s Christmas tree, beautiful as ever, and more instruments.

Uncle Steve really does know how to play the piano.

Climbing stairs, a new passion.

Steve and Kumar in the holiday spirit.

A leisurely drive along the cliff.

It’s no visit to Santa Cruz without a drum circle.

We popped over the hill to visit my childhood friend Brynn and her family.

Look closely. Can you find the dad’s with babies?

Porter and Hattie

After mastering the 3 stairs into the kitchen, it was time for the real thing.

A view from the summit.

My Sunset Magazine inspired post Christmas breakfast.

Soft boiled eggs, grapes, Mexican hot chocolate and Cardamom Apricot Coffee Cake.
A triumph!
How many Wilson’s does it take to make a coffee cake?

3. Me, my dad and Steve.

Mexican hot chocolate. This will become a regular in my house.
Porter got his first ice cream cone. Oh goody! He wouldn’t let me take it away from him,
and then the rest of the evening ensued.
Sleep? No thanks.

The Porter family was a big influence in the Santa Cruz area, including various places in Capitola.

Upon our return to Boise we took a New Year’s Eve walk in the foothills with Auntie Anna.

Sportin’ the Christmas sweater.

The kitties are glad we came home.
New Year’s Day 2012
Love my tender life!

Toasty Warm

As I write this, my husband is on a “man mission” to get a fire rolling in our stove. We were putting Porter to sleep this evening, the heater kicked on, and I smelled the faint smell of natural gas. Oh goody! Right at bedtime too. We killed the heater, called the gas company and a nice man came out to check the gas levels. He didn’t find anything, but we’re playing it safe and keeping the heater off tonight and calling in help tomorrow.

While it’s a pain in the butt, Luke shines in moments like this and is relishing his ability to provide for us in this way. I’m quite happy that he likes doing it too. Here’s a screen shot of what the weather is supposed to be like tonight. Perfect timing for heater troubles.

Thankfully we have an amazing wood burning stove that heats our house front to back. With some amazing planning, Luke got it together last month to chop all the wood we’ve had laying around, stack it on pallets and cover it. We now have plenty of fuel to burn. It’s times like these that I’m really glad we have a small house. Time to pioneer-up!

It’s also been really windy the last few days, which has made taking Porter for walks a little difficult. He’s got his warm clothes, but when the wind gusted all of the leaves flew right into his face. Luckily, we were gifted an amazing stroller by our friends Chelsea and Shaun. It’s perfectly suited for walking in the elements, something Porter and I plan on doing a lot this winter.

I’m glad I had a newborn last winter and got all my fretting out then. Is he warm enough? Too warm? Sun in his eye’s? Every square inch of skin covered? Okay, so I’ll never really stop trying to keep him comfortable, but at least I’m not as neurotic as last January. This winter I know how to dress him for the cold and I’m excited, or at least ready, for the winter to hit. Cheers to staying warm!

Winter wear: fleece pjs, snow bib, fleece lined rain jacket,
hat with lined ear/chin strap, mittens, UGG sheepskin booties.
Last year I had an amazing winter suit with covered feet, hands and hood,
from my mom. Now that Porter’s wearing 12-18 month sizes,
they don’t make giant one piece snowsuits. Darn it.

Pod baby!

He’s a big fan of the clear plastic shield. Beneath it
he probably didn’t need all the layers and
the wind and leaves were kept at bay.

Happy Family

I’m not feeling very inspired to write these days. Blogging definitely has its highs and lows. Looking at pictures, however, is easy. I came across two family pictures and it made me realize how happy I am with our little family.

Having a baby hasn’t been easy. It’s involved a lot of personal growth and stretch on Luke’s and my relationship. And to be perfectly honest, I still jump when I hear Porter make noises in his sleep. In the beginning it was because I was afraid he wasn’t breathing, but now it’s just because I need more sleep at night. The last 11 months have made me feel more alive, and I’m excited for the future. I even started reading a potty training book today. Wishful thinking?

Today I laughed with my son so many time’s I can’t even count them. Then after he went to sleep I laughed with my husband. I hope you get to experience happiness at this level, because it feels so freakin’ good!

A couple days after Porter was born.

Late October, Porter 9 months. Photo by Ashley Romero.

Self Soother

baby sleep 1


Welcome to the February 2013 Natural Living Blog Carnival: Addressing Sleep Challenges.
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Natural Living Blog Carnival hosted by Happy Mothering and The Pistachio Project through the Green Moms Network. This month our members have written posts about how they address sleep challenges in their homes.

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If you’re a parent and have read any sleep books in the last few years you know that if your baby is a self soother, they will put themselves to sleep at night. Both at bedtime and anytime they may wake in the middle of the night. It sounds good doesn’t it, self soother. Especially when you’re talking about your child. I mean, really, who wouldn’t want their child to be a self soother? It sounds like self control, ease, and for a new mom with nerves frazzled by lack of sleep something soothing sounds idyllic. I have, however, come to abhor the term self soother. I felt judged since my baby wasn’t self soothing. Who were these book writers (who I chose to read) to tell me what kind of baby I had? Plus, secretly, I wanted my baby to be a self soother so I could sleep at night, but I didn’t have the cajones to deal with it somehow. I didn’t want to admit that I needed to be selfish in this area of my life.Since I am a new mom I have read my fair share of baby sleep books, 6 of them actually, and there are many many more out there. The one’s I’ve read have varying methods of how to get your child to sleep through the night, and each one of them stresses that if your child doesn’t get the required amount of sleep, you’re probably going to raise a psychopath or at least some lesser form of human being. Needless to say, there is a HUGE pressure for parents to get their baby to sleep regularly. When you’re a tired mom you’d give anything for your baby to sleep for an entire night (not just the requisite 5 hours that constitutes sleeping through the night either) you really want your baby to be a self soother.

The Past Is The Past

When I was a wee babe, I co-slept with my parents for years. It worked for my parent’s little family and as a baby it certainly worked for me. Nestled next to my mother was exactly where I wanted to be, without a doubt. That is, until it ended in a few angsty nights between my 2 year old self and my dad, who was ready to reclaim his bed, rightfully so. It was because of this experience (which I only remember through stories I’ve heard) that I thought as a new mother I would also enjoy co-sleeping with my little family. To an extent I did.

This Is The Present

For the first few months, through the dead of winter, I couldn’t imagine my new tiny baby sleeping on his own. The only place I felt he could be kept warm enough was next to me. And who wants to get out of bed in the middle of a cold winter night to feed a baby that needs to eat every three hours? We were content. Then my baby grew. He got stronger and started to move, a lot, with kicking and punching movements directed mostly at me. I found it increasingly difficult to sleep, and by 5 months my husband gently asked if maybe it was time to move the baby to his own bed? But how? He was still so little and neither of us were ready to let him out of our room yet. We decided over the next month to get a bigger bed, surely that would be the solution, and it was. Only, Porter ended up sleeping in his own room on the old queen mattress while I leap frogged every night between the two beds.

This arrangement worked for awhile, but as Porter got older (we’re talking weeks here) he inevitably got more mobile. I found myself sleeping with him all night long because of my overwhelming fear that he would crawl over my barricade of pillows and land head first on the floor. Which he did incidentally, during the day, while I was a foot away. He was fine, I felt pretty crappy, but I was once again reminded that this wasn’t a safe place for him to sleep alone. It was still difficult for me to sleep through the night, constantly nursing this active baby boy and contorting my body in an effort to get comfortable. My chiropractor noticed my nightly circus act too. It felt like I had a newborn again, nursing every three hours, and I got increasingly less and less sleep. Then there’s the relationship with my husband to consider. Let’s just say he’s a better and more considerate bed partner than my son.

A truth that I have learned since having a baby kept ringing in my head, “I am not my mother and this is not her baby.” This is a lesson I’ve been learning over and over since Porter was born and here it was again. I couldn’t co-sleep with my baby for the next two years and feed him on demand all night long, it’s just not healthy for me. Then it happened, mind and body wasted on baby love and lack of sleep, I hit bottom.

Disclaimer

There is always a disclaimer when you read the sleep books and talk with any wise older parent or doctor, and it sounds like this: Only do what is right for your family. This is true for any parenting job, not just sleep. It’s another one of those comments, like self soother, that sounds so nice. Sure, of course! I’ll do what right for my family, duh! Now what exactly is right for us again? Not as easy to answer once your faced with difficult decisions, like how to get sleep in this case.

Anyway, I hit bottom. Porter got off the very loose schedule that he had been keeping in the first place, and mama didn’t get any sleep for 2 days, not at night or napping during the day. Hell broke loose on Monday and I had a tired mom breakdown. It involved crying sobbing at my 8 month old to please, please, PLEASE go to sleep. He thought I was hilarious and laughed right in my face. Then I did it, like a hurt 4 year old I sobbed back, “Don’t laugh at me, it’s not funny!” I felt like an idiot child crying uncle to an older brother. I had had enough, mama needed a mental health day. I called my husband Luke when I calmed down (ha! still crying!) and like a modern day white knight, he rearranged his afternoon at the office and came home to watch the baby so I could sleep. My hero! It was then and there that I realized I could not be the kind of mother that my baby deserves on the sleep schedule we were keeping, and we can’t afford for Luke to start working part time either. It was time for sleep training, ugh.

This Is Really Happening

I decided to use the Ferber method (see bottom of post for update) called “The Progressive Waiting Approach” that is very popular among different groups of mothers I know. It involves letting your baby cry. Something I, like most mothers, cringe at the thought of. Then a parent goes to the baby at progressively longer intervals and reassures yourself and baby that everything is alright. The goal is that your baby will fall asleep on his own and then sleep through the night. This is not the warm cuddly mothering approach that I had anticipated for myself and my baby, sometimes reality sucks.

Let me tell you, this has been the hardest bridge I’ve had to cross so far as a mother. I essentially had to tell my baby no. No sleeping nestled next to your mother’s warm breast (sorry dude!), no midnight snacking, no overnight cuddles (my heart is breaking just writing the words) and then I had watch and listen to him throw tantrums until he fell asleep. It was as bad as I imagined and I couldn’t have done it without Luke to go in and reassure Porter. I certainly couldn’t have let him cry if I was in the room. The first night it took 30 minutes at bed time and another 40 in the middle of the night. The second night it took 10 minutes at bedtime and he put himself (dare I say self soothed) back to sleep in the middle of the night. For the last 4 night’s he’s gone down with 2-3 minutes of protest and slept for a solid 10+ hours. It’s true and quite surprisingly has worked consistently. Porter wakes up happy and is the same smiling, boisterous baby he’s always been. Oh happy day he doesn’t hate me!

Every night we stick to the same bedtime routine and bedtime. Hopefully it sticks indefinitely. Who woulda’ thought? Now I understand all my friends with children who practically run out of gatherings when bedtime rolls around, consistency works, for my family. Would I have done it sooner? Nope. For my family 8.5 months was the right time, not 5 months or 2 years.

We All Tell Ourselves What We Need To Make It Through

The justification in my mind goes like this. I pictured my son at 35 in a therapists office, under hypnosis. He says,”I was abandoned as a baby by my parents.” The therapist responds, “Okay, where are you and what’s happening?” Porter, “My parents bathed me in a warm bath, rubbed me with oil, dressed me in pajamas, read me a book, my mom nursed me and held me and then she left me alone in my bed to fall asleep, ALL BY MYSELF! While I got my dad as a consolation prize every 5 minutes until I fell asleep.” This is a scenario I’m willing to accept, I’ll even pay for the therapy if that time comes. It’s better than going to therapy because his mother had to be committed for going crazy because of lack of sleep and couldn’t actually be a good mother, right?

I knew it was the right time because I had reached a critical point in mothering where my hand was forced and it was time to make the hard decision for me and my family. Before I had a baby it was those parents who made the difficult, but correct, choices that I admired. For the crying and pain that I forced upon my child for a couple of nights, that he may only remember subconsciously, the benefits were marginally better than the cons, but overwhelmingly important. No one can be a care giver without taking care of themselves. To be human, to be a mother, is to be selfish in this way. This mothering job gets easier and harder simultaneously. Sheesh, we’ve only just begun! Here’s a video of Porter from today, just to show you what a lovely baby he still is, only more rested.

Update 4/24/2012: When I wrote this post, Porter was 8.5 months old and he’s now 15.5 months old. I’m happy to say that he consistently sleeps through the night (10.5-12 hours) in his own bed. The exception is when we go on vacation. He doesn’t sleep as well on vacation in new surroundings and when we return home we have to go through the whole sleep training process again. Thankfully, it usually takes less time then the first and I found Jodi Mendell’s book Sleeping Through The Night, it is similar to the Ferber method, with the initial bedtime routine except instead of letting your baby cry in the middle of the night, you put them back to sleep any way you know how. For Porter, that’s nursing. It takes a little longer to get back to sleeping through the night, but I prefer less crying in general. I will also say that since Porter has gotten older, and I’m getting more sleep myself, the whole process seems a lot less daunting and less stressful. Nothing like experience, time, and decent sleep to put it all in perspective.

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Visit Happy Mothering and The Pistachio Project to learn more about participating in next month’s Natural Living Blog Carnival!
Please take some time to enjoy the posts our other carnival participants have contributed:


8

It’s been 8 amazing months of Porter Rainn!
We went to the park for the first time this week and he LOVED it. He loved watching the other kids, seeing the huge playground and especially the swing. Don’t worry, he hasn’t lost a leg, he just likes to keep one tucked up.

Entertained by the hot pink iPhone cover.
Two peas in a pod.
Classic Porter enthusiasm. Yes, he is this happy on a regular basis.
No kitty! That’s MY birdie wrist bobble!
Pull up a stool partner.

Porter loves singing and dancing to his dad’s guitar playing. He’s also picked up a pretty gnarly spitting and slapping habit that we’re hoping he grows out of. But, it’s funny and hard not to giggle a little when he does it. Have I mentioned that he’s a yeller, he is. Love this baby more each day!

7

Seven months ago, this week, we brought home a newborn baby boy. Well, he just keeps getting bigger! Here’s a smorgasbord of photos from the last week.

To beat the summer heat we spend the late afternoons in our front yard in the shade of our maple tree. I also found the rapid photo button on my camera and caught some interesting faces.

Who needs an African safari when you can watch the cats bask in the front yard?

For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of spending some quality time with Porter, he’s a talker and often a yeller.

Thanks to Chelsea’s sister, Lissa, for the great bubble idea. Porter was entertained, or at least very curious for at least 20 minutes, and it helped clean off the tray, BONUS! He’s sticking out his tongue just like his dad, very focused.

Like I said, a yeller.

Then Olive came along. These day’s kitties are always the most interesting thing around.

 That’s my boy!

 He got me.
Red triangle, meet blue star.
Here’s a video of Misty getting some serious attention from Porter. She’s the only kitty that will come near him these days because his love is so, well, intense. Sorry the video is so dark, had to work with what I had in that moment.